Tuesday, August 27, 2013

When I Grow Up



As I have mentioned the three things I wanted ‘when I grew up’ were to be a mom and wife. Attend Texas A&M because there IS nothing better than being an Aggie. Then spend my life and time teaching children.

Well you know the saying about best laid plans….

I am a wife that happened at an early age and is the single greatest thing in my life. My husband is the only reason I wake up some days.

I am not a mom and don’t know that I will ever be, which breaks my heart. I just think of a child and all the responsibility. I never want to bring a human life into existence that I cannot give 100% to emotionally and finical. There may come a time that is possible for now it seems impossible.

Texas A&M.  This one cuts the deepest. Even now I try to wrap my brain around the fact that I will never spend my Saturdays in the student section humping it. This topic deserves its own post one day.

Teaching, well that goes along with no college. I have come to realize that I cannot blame anyone for this. I have to take responsibility. I barely passed math from 4th grade on and spent my time trying to seem perfect instead of working on what was important. I was naive and believed I would just get to go to A&M that would just happen after graduation, my dad and I always talked about it. Yeah well college takes money and good grades neither of which I had. Tried the Jr College thing with hopes to transfer but with all the time I have to devote to studying just to keep up with the other students and work full time it is not possible for me. So I move forward.

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